Thursday, June 17, 2010

Anger Management Treatment:: Love vs. Anger

After teaching anger management classes for over 6 years I have learned that the use of the word "love" and the behavior of "anger" often accompany one another. Many of our anger management participants state that their anger has either destroyed a relationship that was very meaningful to them or it has eroded it to the point that they are fearful it will never return to normal.
Anger is a powerful emotion. It sends us into action and not always in the way we would like. Love is an emotion, but in many ways it is also a behavior. If one would like to show how much they love another, then their behavior is the best indicator of their intent vs. just the words "I love you". In our anger management classes we teach skills to help recognize faulty ways of communicating hostility, especially towards those we love and care about. Most people state that they can be so warm and friendly to those they hardly know and aggressive and hostile to those that mean the most to them.
Learning effective skills in anger management can help improve the way one expresses one of life's most meaningful emotions, love. Remember, if we treat love as a behavior and not just an emotion, then our actions will show how much we care. By behaving badly and then saying, " but I do care about you...." makes those words meaningless. By improving skills in anger management, students of these classes can expect to improve their interpersonal relationships and their lives.

Ari Novick, Ph.D. is Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist and a certified anger management provider for both adults and adolescents. Dr. Novick is also an adjunct professor of psychology at Pepperdine University's Graduate School of Education and Psychology.
His corporate website is and his innovative online anger management class is available at

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